Ego, Anger and Being Right!

Is your life a roller coaster? One moment you are happy the next you are angry and overwhelmed by all sort of negatives thoughts and emotions. You practically have little control and you feel it is dictated by the experiences that life throws at you.

If anything, anger at self or others is the negative emotion that you often find yourself with. Although you stuff the anger inside, you are stacking up in negative energy, ready to burst. And, of course the domino effect of biochemical-physiological responses takes place and various illnesses appear out of nowhere….flu, colds, sore-throat, IBS, Sinusitis etc…..! The more you connected with the inner feelings of hurt and frustration associated with the memory of what triggered anger, the higher the intensity of emotions.

You have no awareness that you could think of anger as a state; a state that you could dis-associate (NLP language) from.

If you have been experiencing much conflict in your relationships with others, then it is that while you may value peace, your actions may well be demonstrating otherwise. Anger can cause you to make unwise decisions, say hurtful remarks, destroy relationships and take drastic actions that you may regret later. It is an emotion that blocks your way to abundance.

Your actions are the doing of the ego. Your ego is addicted to drama. There is a surge of negative energy that feeds your anger, frustration and hostility. Once started, it is difficult to stop the gathering momentum of this energy and this is why you need to seek professional help.

Your survival is at stake, when your ego feels threatened. You need to move into the position of defense if an attack is no longer possible. You feel justified in your actions. You need to be right!
Being right strengthens the ego. You experience a sense of superiority. It can be subtle at times. It happens when you believe that you are fighting for a just cause. But being right is about identifying with a mental state – an opinion, a judgment, a story, a perspective. When you are right, it also means that someone else is wrong. If the other person feels challenged by your insistence of being right, it becomes the fight of the egos.

You may again insist that you are right because of the facts. But facts can also be a matter of perception. They can also get clouded with other considerations. Egos are great at distorting information to satisfy the selfish needs of one-self. What you perceive as facts may well be an illusion. What you see in others is a reflection of you. According to the Law of Attraction, you have also attracted what lie within your thoughts.

“I am right; you are wrong” is a common belief that causes separation and deep anger. It is the thought that causes the divide among nations, religions and cultures. No good has ever come from the adoption of this belief. Over time, resentment becomes grievance. It is a strong negative emotion connected to an event kept alive by the retelling of the story in your head. The grievance is invariably about what “someone did to me”. You cannot let go of its grip over you.

You also look for instances that strengthen the same story. Each instance is a validation of “I am right” thought pattern. Your grievance is long-suffering. You now play the victim role. The heavier the baggage of past hurts, the more dramatic your role is. What you get out of life pretty much mirrors your thoughts. In a way, your conflicts with others are not really about others.

It is about your relationship with the Now! When you are in resistance with the Now, you will find yourself experiencing conflict in everything (be it an event or relationship with others) that you encounter. You are basically not at peace in the moment. Nothing goes right! Ignoring a problem is never the solution. Anger unresolved is often a sign of an overload. It happens when you unconsciously accumulate an internal storehouse with anger. You collect all negative energy with the common theme of unmet expectations.
The questions to ask yourself when you are experiencing dysfunctional relationships: What is my relationship with the Now? Fighting? In resistance? What am I aligned to? Oneness? Or Separation? What am I choosing in my present experience: Peace or Drama?

In NLP, we learn that it is very possible to change our internal state. The first step, obviously, comes with awareness. The more aware you are about your emotions, the more you can stop anger at its track should it arise. Upon awareness, you realize that you have a choice. You can end the conflict that you are in. You decide if you want to make peace or war right this instant. You move in alignment with whatever comes up in the Now. Your state of Being changes. You experience a change in paradigm. A sense of calmness follows. A letting go. Others respond more positively. Your relationships improve, most importantly your Health improves and your abundance in life manifests – Now.

You can then choose to use NLP techniques or EFT to address your negative emotions. As you gain in awareness and understanding, anger dissipates. Few things rail you as much, going forward. Peace and calm is the order of the day! Your thoughts become charged up with positive energy; there is also more love and abundance in your life!

And since life is made up of moments, by making peace with each successive moment, you are also making Peace with Life.

Be well, Be inspired
Chantal